Heart Like A Sad Song
by Fllay Alster
Summary: Edward returns to Bella to find her life in shambles after he has stayed away for nearly two years. With a dead mother and brain damaged father how will Bella cope with accepting the vampire back into her life?
1. My life up until now

**When Edward does not return to Bella she decides to skip town but before she can make it out she learns of the fatal accident that causes her mother's death and her father's brain damage. Now she must be strong and take care of Charlie. Will Edward return?**

**Bella's POV**

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**Bella's POV**

Every now and then I'll wonder where _he _is. I hope that he stops and think of me even though I can't possibly ever think of him without my stomach falling out on me and my heart sinking into its place. It's a pretty sad existence but I have to be strong now. I have to be much stronger now then I was before. Charlie needs me in a way that no one has ever needed me.

Sure, I used to _just _cook and clean and what ever needed to be done around the house. Ever since the accident Charlie has been more of a child to me then my father.

I suppose it's my fault though. If it wasn't for me Charlie would have never been driving that fast and my mother, Renee, would have never been rushing in to town. Their cars would have never swerved in together. My mother wouldn't be dead, my father wouldn't be a shell of his former existence and I would, probably, be getting ready to apply for college and moving on with my life, leaving Forks behind. If anything else, I would be sitting here feeling sorry for myself thinking about _him._

I have no time to feel sorry for myself anymore. The night this all happened and my life changed forever was tragic. I had packed a bag and was ready to run away to a different place, I was going to try my hardest to find a place that would allow me to forget about _him _and start all over again. It had been so long and I had hoped he'd come back and I would once again be in his arms but that day never came and the more I pondered it I realized that it never would.

Well, Charlie had come to check on me and found my empty bed and drawers and he called Renee and the Bella-search began. I was just about to board a bus to god knows where when my eyes caught a glimpse of a news report the station's television. What I saw, I will never forget. A police cruiser wrapped around a black sleek car, my mother's black sleek car.

All the wishing and praying didn't help because when I finally arrived at the hospital the doctors told me that Renee had passed and my father had so much brain damage that they recommended that I put him in a home, because an 18 year old couldn't possibly take care of him.

It's true too, however, an 18 year old also can't afford the best care possible for someone with brain damage. I try my best, though; I have him on a schedule. Wake early, breakfast, pills, walk, lunch, pills, TV, dinner… The only help I have is the nurse who comes over every other day to help with baths and to make sure his health isn't deteriorating. She stays for a good 6 hours while I get in a short shift at Newton's about three times a week, the money isn't great but it's something.

I smile over at Charlie as we pull up to the grocery store; I have to take him everywhere, "Alright, Charlie. I'm going to lock the doors and you're going to stay here and be still until I come back. Alright?"

Charlie just looks at me with his same vacant expression then turns his attention back to the rain droplets rolling down the windshield. I nod then take a deep sigh, hopping out of my truck, locking the doors and I head inside the supermarket. I take one more look back to see him watching me. I wonder that he is thinking. No use in that, doctors say he doesn't think much anymore… Although there is only one person who would really know and he's gone now.

I move through the double doors that have automatically opened for me and I place my quarter into the slot, retrieving my shopping cart. Of course, I get the one with the load squeaky wheel. I stroll along the isles, the bright florescent lights are harsh on my eyes because almost every light bulb in the house has gone and up until now I've forgotten to buy new ones.

I place several bulbs into the cart and head down the isles getting all the _house holds_ first, dish soap, vacuum bags, toilet paper etc… After that is taken care of I move on to dairy just because it's my favorite section. It's always so chilly in Forks and with the added freezers not many people spend a lot of time in the isle. Therefore I don't have to look at people's pity-glares.

'_Look at that poor, poor girl. Dropping out of high school to take care of that poor, brain-dead man,' _They must think, again, only one person would really know. I sigh and grab a few other things, meat, vegetables, bread and my comfort food: chewy chips ahoy.

I head over to check-out ignoring everyone's pity-glare and I start to unload my cart onto the conveyor belt.

"Hi, Bella," my eyes snap up looking to see who had enough guts to greet me. It was almost as if, these days, people were afraid I'd get upset.

"Hi, Billy," I gave him a warm smile which seemed to surprise him a lot, "is Jake around?"

"Somewhere," he chuckled.

"So, how have things been?" I asked him. I haven't seen the Blacks since a little bit after the accident. They used to come by all the time with food and gifts like extra blankets and socks but I guess it became too awkward to be around Charlie in his state.

"Not too bad, Bella. And Charlie, how is he doing?"

"No change," I say softly and look up when I hear the total of my groceries. 68.93… that hurt a little, there goes another week's pay. I have a little bit left for gas. If it wasn't for Charlie's insurance I don't know how we would afford to pay for the nurse and pills.

"Take care, Bella," Billy gave me a sympathetic smile and I nodd, loading the paper bags into the cart and tried to ignore the squeaking of the front wheel that made my exit so obvious. I head over to the truck placing the cart near the back and pull back the tarp so the groceries won't get wet when I put them down there. My eyes drift up to the seat… the seat where Charlie is supposed to be… where is he? The door is opened a crack… oh my god!

"Charlie!" I abandon my cart and started to walk around in circles around the truck, hoping to spot him.

Where is he? I can't believe it, I was only gone for 15 minutes and now he's gone. How far can a grown man get in 15 minutes?

"CHARLIE!!" I find myself screaming, I don't car who is looking. I run across the street looking down both sides hoping to see a trace of his yellow rain coat. Nothing. I feel dizzy. I can't believe I lost him.

"CHARLIE!!"

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	2. Day in and day out

**Bella's POV**

"Charlie!!" I scream out and look over to the hardware store—the greenery behind it which surrounds the town. What if he's lost in the woods. Oh, no, no, no.

"Char—"

My eyes catch glimpse of that yellow rain coat, sitting on the curb in the rain, fascinated by the rainbow colours of motor oil twisting down the storm drain. Thank god. I ran over to Charlie, dropping to my knees and hugging him tight. He didn't seem to mind, sometimes he'll push my away when I try to hug him but right now he is occupied with the colours.

"Come on Charlie, lets go home before it starts to get dark," I say with so much relief and take his hands pulling him up off of the street. He walked with back to the truck; I try to ignore the eyes on me. Everyone had just witnessed me going insane and they all looked like they were about to clap before I shot a warning look around me. The townies quickly carried on with their business and I loaded Charlie, the groceries and my self into the truck and we all headed home.

I crank the heat up high and help Charlie out of his coat and boots before he gets the couch all wet like he has so many times before. Little things that happen in an order like taking off boots and coats before sitting down on the couch have become a centre in Charlie's world. Charlie isn't good at putting things in order.

We have these little games we play with picto-cards. It's a broken up image of a person or a dog, cat, car—what have you. The object of the game is to put the pieces in order to form a complete image. It's supposed to help him regain order in his train of thought but often he'll just get frustrated, slam his fists down on the table and give up.

I take Charlie over to the couch and put on the baseball game so I can keep an eye on him while I fetch the groceries from the truck so I can fix dinner. I hurry in the soaked bags and put them down on the table taking a personal inventory to make certain that I got everything I needed. I put the veggies in the crisper, the meat and dairy on the shelf and the rest in the cupboards. The house holds I lock away in the closet near the door just to be safe. I don't think Charlie would ever drink cleanser but I'm willing to risk it. I stash the bulbs on top of the fridge, I'll change then when Charlie is sleeping.

When I first started to cook for Charlie it was based on what I thought would taste good, these days I made what is easiest for me to feed him. Everything I precut, after a bad experience a few months ago when I was cutting his chicken and he went to grab a piece of carrot and I sliced his finger.

I've gotten used to a routine of things that Charlie can't handle. I can never turn off the TV when he's watching it, I can turn down the volume and lead him from the room to the kitchen for dinner and turn it off after wards but never when he in there. So that is what I do, I bring him to the table and put down his plate of ravioli and tomato, feeding him small bites so he wont choke. Sometimes when things get quiet and not so busy like moments like these when the cooking and housework is done and it's just be and him—I can't help it… I have thoughts, what if he has died with Renee. I would be alone, my own person, not thrust into this world of responsibility. These thoughts make me sick and I can't help but have them. What kind of life is he leading anyways?

No… I must try to stay positive.

I wipe his mouth with a napkin and set his plate into the sink. I turn back to him, his vacant expression on me. If only I knew what was going on in his head. I feel a thud as my heart skips a beat because now whenever I wonder what is going on inside of Charlie I think of _him_.

The night always comes and as Charlie sleeps I find myself alone in my room staring at the window, wondering if anyone will ever leap in through it again. Light bulbs. I sit up; I almost forgot to change those damn things. I hurry to my feat, excited at the lame distraction and I grab the ladder from the hall closet and the bag from up top the refrigerator and begin my quest to return light to the Swan house hold.

The kitchen light, the lamp in the living room, the light in Charlie's room can wait till tomorrow, I won't wake him. The bathroom light—thank you god, no more peeing with the door open for me. My bedroom light and now I'm working on the hall way light between me and Charlie's room.

"Come on—come one—come on," I whisper trying to reach it. I look around for something to grab for support as I climb up onto the last step of the ladder. Still I can't reach it… not my fault that I'm vertically challenged, where is Jacob Black when I need him?… oh yeah, ignoring me to hang out with his La Push buddies and steer clear of awkward moments due to Charlie-the-infant-minded-man.

I look down at the ladder and shrug… I'm not that heavy, I can probably do this. I step onto the top of the ladder ignoring the warning sticker that says _'this is not a step'._ I place on hand on the wall and the other I reach above my head and start to unscrew the burned out bulb. The pitter patter of the rain outside forms a rhythm simultaneous with balancing act. The rumble of light thunder only makes me shift for a moment before I finally remove the bulb from the fixture and tuck it into the front pocket of my hooded sweater. I smile in triumph as I retrieve the new bulb and reach up to screw it into place. I loud crack of thunder shakes the house and I feel my knees wobble, then hear floor boards squeak. Uh-oh.

Charlie's door flies opened and he runs down the stairs, started by the thunder, pushing past me. The ladder gives way and I fly off hitting the ground with a sickening thud, and a loud pop. My shoulder dislocates from it's natural state sending waves of pain hurling down my back and there is something else… something sharp. My head feels light a dizzy

"Charlie?" I only manage to whisper.

I roll over and look down at my sweater all red. Glass shards. The light bulb. No one will find me. It's over. Who will take care of Charlie?

Darkness…


	3. Return of the midnight sun

_Please let me know what you think when you're finished reading each chapter! Here's another on POV will shift frequently throughout my fic!_

Edward's POV

I feel a warm relief building up inside of me as I turn in the long unoccupied highway leading to Forks. It's been so long, nearly two years since I left Bella behind so she could live her life. Two miserable years of listening to Alice complain about how I was no fun anymore. Two years of watching Rosalie roll her eyes. Two long years of hearing Jasper's thoughts _'Just go to her'._ I guess he knew how I felt the most. He had to feel it too. Esme's thoughts were the worst though, her sympathetic agreeing disposition to why I left. Believing that what I did was the most unselfish act of love she had ever seen in her existence.

That's probably why it took me so long to realize that I couldn't go on without Bella. Esme's constant justification even though the fact did weight heavy on her mind that she hadn't heard me laugh or seen me smile since we left Forks.

The exact moment when I gave up and decided to come to Forks and beg Bella to take me back was when I was sitting at the piano, running my fingers over the keys. I played a few notes, then another few. Before I knew it a melody was being composed so beautiful that I couldn't imagine that it had never existed before. A smile came to my lips and I remember it hurting a little, as if my skin was not used to stretching into that grin, as if it didn't remember.

'_I can't wait to play this for Bella'_

That was the thought that changed everything. The thought of her never being able to hear the composition was unbearable. Never being able to sit down with me and inspire lyrics to go with it. Such a simple moment in my existence and it was all it took for me to realize that there was so much more that I wanted to share with Bella—I had taken away from her so much more than I had given her by leaving her to live her own life. My selfless act was immediately exposed for the selfish nature that I had unintentionally brought upon her life for not allowing her to have the one thing that she begged for and truly wanted. An eternity of beautiful music… An eternity of whatever she desired… An eternity with me…

After that I sat frozen, hesitant. Up until that moment I had been so very sure of what Bella needed and that leaving was giving her everything that would keep her safe forever. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

I left without a word to Esme, Carlisle, Alice… no one knows where I am, where I'm heading. Accept for Alice maybe, but I told her never to spy on Bella.

I'm here, Forks. I look down the street; damp and dark. No one is out this late and for good reason. You never know what may be lurking. The shops are even closed—unlike the city where everything stays open to the latest possible hour, this small town closes down when the sun begins to set. I stop at the lights and wait for the green that would set me free. I could just speed through it—no one is here but I need to think. I lean my head against the wheel and look ahead at the corner store. Aren't these things supposed to be 24hrs? What is someone needs… a cup of sugar or what ever humans want when they are in need of a convenience store. What if they need… paper bags? Or milk for their babies or… flowers so that their soul mates will forgive them when they up and leave for two years?

I turn the wheel, park next to the shop and step out of the car. I peer into the window and look over the selection of flowers, lilies, daisies, and a scatter of red roses laying on top of the counter on a sheet black tissue paper. It looks like someone was about to wrap up a bundle of roses when the clock ticked 6pm and everyone ran for their houses. Not much of a night life crowd. I move swiftly and quickly inside through the unlocked window at the side of the building.

I gather the roses in a bunch and bundle them up in the paper—wow this flower arrangement business really is a talent. I frown at my bouquet and rework it a little bit then pick up some filler from the other already made bouquets. I reach into my pocket for a bundle of cash and leave 95.00 on the counter. I leave the same way I got in, put the roses on the passenger seat and get back on the road to see my Bella.

_Ring ring ring._

Alice, I see her name come up on my caller id.

"Oh, Edward," she sounds absolutely euphoric.

"Hello Alice," I can hear the grin in my voice.

"I knew it, I just knew that you'd go back to her and everything would just go back to the way things were. Oh I knew it, Edward and everyone doubted me.

"Well they should know better than to doubt you shouldn't they—wait so she'll take me back?"

"Uh… I can't tell."

"Wait? What does that mean?" I glare at myself in the rearview mirror, "never mind, Alice—I'll call you later," I hang up and stop the car, getting out, I look at the house, dark except for a light in Bella's room. Good, she's still up. Please forgive me for what I've put you through Bella.

I leap up the tree and into the window with the flowers in my hand… but her room in empty. Hm, odd… perhaps she is in the washroom… I can wait. I sit down on her bed for a little but I smell something sweet and familiar. What is this scent? I recognize it. It's Bella but not her usual floral smell, its Bella, inside… her blood.

I swallow back the venom that I have to control from coating my lips.

I carefully step to the door and pull it open slowly. Light from her room fills the hall way and I can hardly comprehend what I am staring at, a ladder, toppled over just inches away from making a tumble down the stairs. The sealing light swaying back and forth with no bulb, glass shattered on the floor. And Bella—my Bella lying on her back, eyes fluttered shut, skin pale white, her arm contorted and a sweet red ocean covering her stomach and forming a pool under her.

I drop the bouquet from my hand in a sick panic.

Oh god Bella, my Bella. What has happened here? I kneel by her side and run my icy fingers along her taut warm forehead.

"Open your eyes, my love. Come on, Bella, please?"

Bella rolls her head back and to the side wincing with pain. I don't think she hears me.

I should have never left her.

This is my doing.

**_YAY Eward has returned. Thanks for the kind words and thanks for fav'n my story. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think. Love it? Hate it? Tell me!_**


	4. Lost and found

_Hey everyone! Thanks so much for all the nice comments. I hope you will all continue to read and enjoy my story. Please continue to review. Love it? Hate it? Tell me!_

**Edward's POV**

"Carlisle, I don't know what to do. I'm just going to take her to the hospital," I pace back and forth the length of Bella's bedroom. I have placed her on the bed, it looks as though the bleeding has stopped but I can't be sure. I have stopped breathing; the scent of her blood is so overwhelming.

"Edward, she might not make it to the hospital if you don't report to me what her wounds are exactly so I can give you instruction," Carlisle says in a very calm voice, either he really believes that everything is going to be alright of Jasper is around. But since I can't tell either way I obey.

"Alright, alright, alright, hold on a moment," I set my cell phone down and walk over to Bella's bed, she isn't awake yet, her face is still pale and her brow wears a tiny frown. I know she must be in pain. I start to zip her hooded sweater down; I make it down to mid-chest before I realize that she isn't wearing anything under it. I stop and look around the room for something, anything. A pillow case. I strip the pillow of it's covering and place the blue fabric over Bella's exposed chest and continue to gently remove the garment. I am very aware of my actions, being gentle not to harm her in her delicate state. I had dreams of doing this once… well not dreams, mere fantasies.

In my fantasies we were both warm to the touch and none of this vampire business existed. And certainly in my fantasy Bella was not injured.

I set the sweater aside and hear a clinking noise. I notice that she had something in her pocket… broken glass? I frown and only pay attention to the shards for a moment before picking up the phone and setting it on _speaker_ and turning on the digital camera function.

"Carlisle, you there?"

"Yes, and I can see the image clearly, show me the wounds."

I turn the head of Bella's lamp so it shines on her abdomen. I move the camera phone along the length of her torso. The bleeding had stopped, scraps are everywhere and there is one particular shard of glass that is obviously jutting out of her stomach.

"Carlisle, what do I do?" I resist the urge to sigh knowing that would require breath.

"Edward?" my eyes snap quickly up to Bella's face, her eyes are open and soft with tiredness, she shuts them tightly in reaction to the light so I turn the lamp's head so it is only on her abdomen.

"Shhh," I hush her running the back of my hand along the side of her face, I notice that she leans into my cool touch, "it's going to be okay," I promise.

Carlisle gives me instructions on how to pull out the shard so it doesn't break off and get lost inside of her, I swab some alcohol over her abdomen and flinch a little as Bella's back involuntarily arches in pain. The next part I was very nervous about doing, placing Bella's arm back into its socket.

"Ready?" I whisper, she probably didn't hear me even speak. I sit her up on her bed, positioning her just right so she is leaning against me. I pull her arm back and push up hearing a grind and pop.

I do the action so gently that I'm not sure it even worked until I hear Bella's muffled cry against my shoulder then her sigh of relief. I expect her to return to her position on the bed but she doesn't move. Her arms snake around me and I feel her hot embrace fill me with warmth. I have forgotten Carlisle and I run my hands over her bare back, the pillow case is lost between us. Her skin is so smooth, and so warm. I finally breathe in again; inhaling her scent.

"Edward," she whispers my name; if my heart was alive it would be jumping in my chest.

"Bella… Bella come with me, please… stay with me forever," I beg. I feel her tense and her arms retract. I let go of her… is there still glass?

Her arms clutch the pillow case and hold it against her, "what?"

"We can leave tonight, Bella," I smile at her bewildered face, "we can have forever, I will change you tonight if that's what you want."

"No."

"No?" I don't understand, "alright we can wait for that, pack what you need and we will— "

"No Edward, I'm not going with you. I'm not leaving Forks, I'm not leaving my job and I am certainly not leaving Char— ," her eyes widen, "Charlie… Charlie!?" Bella leaps up from her bed, picking up a blue t-shirt from her floor and pulls it over her head as she rushes out of her bedroom door. I hear her curse as she steps through some glass with her bare foot.

"Bella, wait!" I follow closely behind her and watch her panicked eyes scan over the house looking for Charlie. She turns on every light along the way.

"He couldn't have gone far… Charlie? God, why is this always happening?"

"Bella I don't understand," I feel like I want to laugh but I don't because she looks so panicked. I stay close behind her as she combs her eyes over the living room, and makes her way onto the back porch.

"God, damn it!" Bella turns and walks back in, her arms are wrapped around her self and I hear her breathing begin to rapidly grow into an alarming gasp, "Char—Charlie," Bella says in relief spotting the man sitting in the kitchen under the table. What I see I cannot possible describe with any justice. Charlie just sitting there, his arms wrapped around his knees, rocking back and forth.

Bella sits down on her knees and reaches out a hand for him but he doesn't budge, she moves forward to grab both of his shoulders. Charlie's head snaps up at her and his eyes widen with frustration and anger.

"Charlie, it's okay. I'm okay… you didn't mean it," she said softly.

I finally understand. The tainted train of thought in Charlie's head, the paths of thought that are initiated then lost within the slashed wires that are supposed to connect one thought with another. Something happened, something horrible. But Charlie's thoughts are not on the event that led to this chaos in his mind. Over and over again I see through his mind. Bella falling, Bella falling, Bella falling and of course Charlie clipping past the ladder causing it all.

_**Thanks for reading, there is more to come soon! Please tell me what you think! Love it? Hate it? Tell me! **__****_


	5. Revelations

_Hey everyone!! Thanks for the kind words. I love your feedback and I hope that you guys keep giving me inspiration to continue._

**Bella's POV**

"You… uh, you didn't tell me that Charlie was uh… That he's—," Edward's voice falters over almost every word. Charlie is back in bed; door locked this time from the outside. I guess this is just another lesson learned on my part of what Charlie can and what he cannot handle. There are so many things that it's hard to keep track; the routine of coat and boots, the television issue, pre-cut meals… now locked doors after 9pm.

"Well you didn't give me much time," I mumble, we're sitting in the kitchen. I had made myself some tea that Billy had brought me a while back when he was still visiting to make sure I was okay.

"I know, if I would have gotten here sooner maybe—," I cut him off.

"Maybe, maybe—Edward, why are you here?" my voice turns very harsh, so harsh that I surprise myself and see him flinch a little.

"I already told you," he says quietly, we stare at each other until it becomes too uncomfortable and I look away.

"You did, you want me to come away with you and I already told you no. So," I sigh deeply, "just go, Edward."

I clutch my tea; I expect that his exit was as quiet as his return because I don't hear a sound. I expect him to be gone from his seat when my eyes refocus but he is still there.

"No, I'm not leaving you again," he said sternly, "if I have to, I will wait for you, I will sit here forever until you change your mind, Bella."

"How dare you," I cross my arms and sit back in my seat, "you leave me in the woods, take off for _my own good_ and now you're selfish enough to come back here and expect me to be waiting for you with open arms. Maybe a year ago, yes. But not now, did you see that man tonight? I am all he has and if you think that I am going to just up and leave him like you left me—well Edward I don't know what you can possible be thinking," I say callously, I wonder how cruel I have to be until he finally leaves. I stand abruptly, realizing the pain of my abdomen, stupid glass.

Edward is by my side in a moment, holding onto my elbow stabilizing me so I don't fall over. It would be so easy to sink into those icy, marble arms. To kiss his stony lips, to feel his sweet breath on my neck; it's hard not to want that because I do. For months after he left I remember touching my forehead to the cool casing of the refrigerator. It reminded me of his embrace.

"Please don't make this harder than it already is," I whisper looking up at his beautiful eyes but only for a moment before I must turn away. The reflection of my tired and worn face is too much to bare in those honey pools.

"I made a mistake," he says, his voice broken and desperate, his face mournful. If tears were in his eyes I would never be able to tell because they would freeze in an instant.

Tears fill my own eyes and I try to will them away but they eventually become too heavy for my lids and the drops roll down my face. I watch as his hand slowly reaches up to wipe them away but I jolt back, away from my. Rubbing the tears away with my palms I run upstairs and slam my bedroom door.

"Then I will stay," Edward says calmly sitting on my bed. I look up at him startled, I wonder if he made it up here before I did.

"Please—stop."

"I will stay here forever with you. My life is where you are Bella," he gets up from the bed and moves across the room gracefully and sits down in my mother's old rocking chair. I don't talk to him for the rest of the night.

When I wake that morning I have to remind myself instantly of the events of last night so I don't jump into his arms. I look around my room to see Edward still sitting there in the corner watching me. Oh no, I wonder what kinds of things he heard in my sleep. He doesn't look pleased with me at all… But why does that bother me?

I get up and decide to sweep up the glass from the hallway and put away the ladder before another accident takes place here. I return to my room to get dressed to find that Edward has left and my clothing is laid out on the bed. My old blue jeans that I haven't warn in years, my blue sweater that I know he loves are sitting on my bed folded neatly which is more then I ever do with clothing besides stuff them into the dresser. I roll my eyes and head over to the closet for something else, tripping along the way on clothing that I've been meaning to wash for about a week. There is just no time anymore.

When I am satisfied that I am dressed in a manor that Edward won't appreciate—old black sweat shirt and grey skinny jeans—underneath is a nice white shirt for work but I keep it hidden.

I unlock Charlie's door to find him sleeping. I won't wake him, the nurse is going to drop by soon and she can do that while I'm at Newton's. I'm about to pop in some toast when I notice that Edward has made me cereal and has set down a glass of orange juice for me. I put the bread back into the bag and sit down across the table from him, my fingers wrap about the cold juice. I wonder how long he was holding the glass. His gaze is hard and I look up at him and raise my brows in a 'what?' expression.

"So," he says calmly, laying his hands on the table, "what are you now, a slut?"

I feel my mouth gape open slightly for mere seconds before I shut it and scowl at him. I throw the juice in his face, but he is too swift and within a second he dodges it and is standing behind me kneeling down, his hand twisted in my hair tightly at the back of my neck causing me to lean my head back.

"Bella, tell me, was it good for you?" he growls in my ear and I know what he's talking about. Mike. Mike Newton.

All I had wanted was to feel something. The numbness that had consumed my life was over powering and I wanted to feel someone's arms around me. I wanted to feel wanted and so Mike and I had taken off one night after work, he was driving me home and we had pulled over. I thought it was what I needed but the feeling of love had never been initiated within those 5 minutes and afterwards the only feeling I was left with was loneliness and something else. I felt dirty and no amount of time has faded that feeling of filthiness. I'm damaged.

"Please," I whisper, my neck is in so much pain as he holds my hair tightly within his fingers, Tears stream down my tilted face and I gaze up at him to see his expression turn from hard, jealous rage into soft regret. He lets go of my hair and removes his hand slowly. I swallow back more tears and watch as he shakes his hand from detached strands of my hair.

_**Please review and tell me what you think. Love it? Hate it? Tell me! **_


	6. Running in circles

Hey people

_Hey people! I just want to thank everyone again for reviewing my story. I also want to take time thank all of my silent readers who don't take the time to review, I love you anyways lol and just want to let you know that if you have something to say jump in at anytime! Please review!_

**Bella's POV**

"Bella, I- I'm—," Edward begins to speak but I can't be in here with him anymore. He knows too much and yet not enough. He doesn't know how sullied I feel every time I see Mike. How much I try to ignore him at work by busying myself in the stockroom.

Like sympathy from a higher power the nurse, Evangeline, arrives. She is a young thing, fresh out of college, but just because our ages are close doesn't mean we understand each other. Her English is not well; she is from a small town in New Brunswick, Canada and mostly speaks French.

"Bonjour, Isabella. Erm, you have, um… company? Qui?" she gestures with every word struggling to communicate. I don't know why she has come to Forks out of all places. At her presence I must go because even though I wish Edward gone so badly, standing there beside Evangeline with her lengthy figure, olive skin and dark sleek hair, I feel inadequate and don't wish for Edward to compare us. Even though I can feel his gaze and it is locked on me, only me.

"No… Edward is leaving," I say to Evangeline who just looks at me confused. I sigh and get up grabbing my coat and stuff my feet into my boots. My keys are inside of my coat pocket, I can hear it jingle.

"Don't—," I scorn Edward as he moves towards me, "don't follow me, Edward Cullen."

I drive and drive until I finally feel the chain of emotion between Edward and I break and I have to pull over. I sit in the car on the side of the road as rain pours and pours all around me. Everything is so different. Nothing is that way that it is supposed to be. My chest heaves, trying to draw in a breath that I can't seem to catch until I just submerge into sorrow and let my self cry. Long heavy sobs escape my lips. I haven't cried like this since Renee died, it feels good. Then I remember Edward, sitting there in the rocking chair, staring me down. Looking at me like that.

A grisly sickness grows deep inside of me, starting in the pit of my stomach and rising up like a rocket. I kick my door open, lean out of the truck and vomit the contents of my stomach onto the soggy patch of grass. When I am sure that I can't possible throw up any more I lean back in the truck, pressing my head against the steering wheel.

Why did he come back? Why now? Everything is so complicated.

I arrive at work late but no one seems to notice. I guess I've been a bit of a fly on the wall lately. If I had been working anywhere else I would have been fired months ago but because the entire town know my situation no one would dare.

"Morning, Bella," I look up to see Mike with a broom, smiling at me.

"Hi," I whisper and smile a little, he can't tell it's a fake smile and sets down the broom and proceeds to hug me awkwardly. I lean into his embrace almost expecting it to be cold and I'm disappointed when it's not. I surprise myself, I don't pull away. I just stay there and lean against him with my eyes closed, welcoming his soft stroking through my hair.

His head tilts down slightly and before I realize it his lips are on my cheek and I give no restraint, pushing my chin up so that my lips meet his'. Our kiss grows urgent as our hands grow impatient and our restless hormones give way.

A misdirected passion that truly isn't meant for either of us ignites and before I can fully comprehend the situation I find myself laying on the cold stockroom floor under a thermal blanket with this boy who is more of a stranger to me then I am to him. I never really gave him the chance to share facts about himself with me, but he's always studied me so thoroughly.

Even now, I don't care to learn more.

"Wait, wait, wait… where are you going?" he asks me when I sit up and start to search for my shirt.

"I uh," I let out a small nervous chuckle and lay back down with him.

"It's Saturday," he mumbles, wrapping an arm around me and kisses my head.

"You know, in most places _that's_ the day where everyone shops," I say, casually and lean my head against his chest, trying to block out the thumping of his heart.

"Yeah—in most places it doesn't rain like a…," he trails off not being able to find words to complete his slimily. I look up at him waiting for him to finish, a few seconds tick by, it makes us both laugh.

We spend a few more minutes on the floor, surrounded by dusty boxes and half unpacked product before we decide we should get some work done… and delete the security footage. I go inside the bathroom and try my hardest to get the black smudges off of my white shirt but the dirty floor had done too much damage. I sigh deeply and hang my head for a few seconds trying to justify what just happened. I am an adult, I can make my own choices, and this is nothing.

Anyways, how dare Edward be mad at me for doing something that he told me to do to begin with… move on! If that's what you can call it. It feels, to me, like running in circles. I look up in the bathroom mirror and feel hot new tears sting my eyes. I look as damaged as I feel; I desperately try to fix my hair to make me look presentable but nothing works. There is a soft knocking on the door and I glance up.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Mike's voice is affectionate and it makes me feel like crying more.

"Yeah," I try to sound upbeat.

"There's a call for you on the phone, he said it's urgent," Mike says.

"He?" I already know who he is talking about.

"Yeah, he said that your father's nurse doesn't speak English, he's translating," Mike says.

"Thank you, I'll be out in a minute," I hang my head and try to pull myself together before I go out and pick up the phone.

"Bella," Edward's voice is soothing to my ringing head.

"This is bordering on harassment," I scold him and bite my lip.

"Bella please just listen," Edward says softly and I nod even though he can't see me, "Charlie had a bit of an episode."

Shock. Charlie? What kind of episode? Why wasn't I there? Oh yeah, I was too busy on the floor with Mike.

"Bella… Bella are you there?"

"Yes".

"Bella, my love, he didn't make it."

That was all it took and I dropped the phone.

_Please review! Tell me what you think. Love it? Hate it? Tell me!_


	7. Roads

Dear readers,

**Dear readers,**

**I just want to thank you for your patience while I took some time off to complete Breaking Dawn. I was not sure how the final book would tie into my story so I decided that I would break and complete the book before continuing on. Although I did enjoy the story, the direction the final book takes does in no way reflect the path I choose to lay out for our characters in my fiction.**

**In saying that I want to assure my readers that there will be **_**NO SPOILERS**_** included in my fiction and you can safely read my chapters for the duration of the time it takes you to complete Breaking Dawn.**

**Edward's POV**

Bella's return from cemetery was unsettling. She had wished to go alone and I accepted that and stayed in her bedroom. I could have wandered the house if I pleased because there was no one here to make my presence here feel out of place. Not any more.

She didn't have to explain to me why she was going for me to understand. _Charlie's will_ had instructed that he was to cremated and that he wished that his ashes were to be spread, not concealed in a jar. Bella only knew of one place where he would spend all eternity willingly and that was over Renee's grave. Bella had always told me that he had never gotten over her mother. What could I expect? It was impossible for me to get over Bella.

I sat on Bella's bed, still. I heard her old truck pull up but I did not hear her get out and that's what took me by surprise. She just sat there like a statue in her own grief. I watched her from her bedroom window and wondered why she did not come upstairs to rest a while.

Over the past few days her heart had been too broken for her to hate me with all her passion. I never imagine that her heart could break any further than the damage that I had done but I guess I must have been mistaken. She had even let me go as far as to hold her while she wept over the loss of Charlie but I didn't push it. I expect that any day now the healing would start to begin—as it does in most humans—time heals all. She will learn to hate me once again. Perhaps more profusely now that her attention is no longer split.

"Bella?" I whisper after making the quick journey from her window to out side of the old truck. She is just sitting in there looking out at the rain pounding on the windshield.

"I want to be alone now, Edward," she mumbled between the small space that her dry lips allowed her to open for speech.

"I want so much to give you that, Bella, but I can't leave you," I whisper and watch as her expression turns from hopeless sadness to unrelenting hate.

"You did it before—you can do it again!" she snaps at me, the words pierce me like a poison tipped harpoon.

"Bella I—," I want to tell her that I'm sorry but the words don't want to come out, perhaps because I know that it will bring on a string of tears that I don't wish to see from Bella. I move to the other side of the struck quickly and get in the seat beside her and watch as she sits up a little at the sudden movement.

"Don't say that you're sorry," Bella whispered and I reach over to touch her face but pull back before she notices my movements.

"Even if I am?" I asked her calmly and watched as her eyes filled with tears.

"Especially if you are," she said and all it took was one blink for them fall and roll down her cheek.

I watched as the tears fell from her chin onto her lap and I shifted across the seat, closer to her so we were sitting just an inch apart. I didn't want to push her; I wanted her so badly to come to me like she had last night when she leaned her head against my shoulder. I wonder if she knew that I knew she was awake.

"He left me the house, everything. But now that he is gone," she spoke out in weariness, "I have no reason to stay here anymore."

I nodded, listening to her speak.

"I came for you Bella, come with me."

I watched her head tilt down and her hair tumble down her shoulder, my eyes caught the glimpse of a soft, fading bruise that I knew I put there, at the nape of her neck. My hand gently pushed her hair away from the area revealing more bruises that were starting to fade.

"I will understand if you don't," I whisper and notice her eyes flicker up into the mirror when I press my cold hand against the tender bruises, hoping that it will be some relief to her. I never meant to cause her pain and I had no excuse for my jealous outrage. It was wrong of me.

"Where?" she finally asked me after a silent moment of contemplation within herself which made me a little bit nervous.

"Alaska," I said quietly, "Carlisle decided it was best to move north and separate Jasper from human contact for a good while. We own a town there."

"You _own _a town?" Bella looked at me in disbelief.

"Ghost town," I whisper and offer her a little smile at her astonishment, "it went dead after the gold rush and we bought up the property years ago."

"And Carlisle is with Jasper?" I ask.

"Everyone is there; the entire family is there, Bella."

"Alice," I hear her whisper with a yearning in her voice.

"She's misses you so much—Bella, I know that I've put you through a lot and I just want you to come with me, even if you won't be with me the way that I want you to be. Just being here, beside you like this is enough if that is all you ever want."

Agreeing to come with me on the condition that she doesn't have to make any immediate decisions in regards to our relationship, we find our selves in my Volvo heading up north to Alaska. I gave her the option to fly but she said she needed time to think so I accepted her reasoning and helped her pack a few things to take with her. Mostly clothing and an old photo album was all she packed there were a few other things but she kept them concealed and although I could easily peek past her and see them with a high level of discreetness I chose to give her, her privacy.

She's sleeping now with her forehead pressed against the glass, I wonder what she is dreaming about. So far I haven't heard her speak in her sleep so I hope that means that her dreams are peaceful. Peaceful dreams are all I can hope for her after the months and months of agony I've left her in and now the cold grief she's in is just not fair. She's such a beautiful soul and does not deserve any of this.

"Edward?" I hear Bella whisper.

"Yes, my love?" I look over to her for a moment, she must be dreaming. Her eyes are still shut and her breathing in uniform. I hear her stomach growl a little and I smile, I've missed her humanness.

My eyes quickly glance around as I search for some place to stop so we can get some food into Bella. The road doesn't have much on either side except for a gas station here or there. My eyes catch a road side diner up ahead and I pull into the lot and gently put my hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Hm?" she looks up at me.

"Ready to eat?"

_Hey everyone, thanks again for being so supportive and reading. Please tell me what you think. Love it? Hate it? Tell me!_


	8. Wings to fly

Edward's POV

**Edward's POV**

So we spend about 5 days on the road making a few stops along to way to make sure that Bella stays fed and rested. After the third day I started noticing that she was looking a little car sick so I decided that it would probably be best if we made a stop at a motor hotel to let her get some sleep in a real bed, have a hot shower and watch a little television to keep her mind off of things.

We arrive at the Alaska estate early in the morning, so early that the sun has not yet risen over the snowy mountains. Bella is _so_ soundly asleep that I don't want to wake her. When I get out of the car I see a crowd of delighted faces staring down at us from the mid-balcony. Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, Jasper and Alice who I have to put my palm up to, to keep her from jumping down from the balcony and tackling Bella.

Emmett nods in a knowing fashion and goes to the trunk getting all of the bags in one heap under his enormous arms and disappears into the house. I swiftly place my arms under Bella and lift her up carefully. I was trying hard not to wake her but I guess my cold arms in comparison to the cozy car wasn't much of a bridge from the seat to her new bed.

"Edward?" she mumbles opening her eyes and then shivers as a bitter Alaska breeze sliced through the trees and over her soft skin. I speed her into the house and am grateful that Alice has started a fire in preparation. I set her down on the couch to let her rest but she is wide awake and wants to visit with the company. I wrap a blanket around her shoulders before Alice can pull her into a friendly embrace and I smile a little when I see Bella's eyes light up for the first time since I've seen her.

"Oh, Alice—I've missed you so much," Bella says with tears in her eyes, happy tears this time.

"I've missed you too, Bella," I watch as Alice's smile turns into a frown as she gather's Bella's hair in her hands observing the small bruises on the back of her neck. She gives me a quick glare before and releases her into the arms of Esme and Carlisle who hug her as one unit. Jasper keeps his distance as always just giving Bella a quick smile and I nod before he excuses himself from the room.

Emmett billows down the stairs and grabs Bella up into a big bear hug, lifting her off her feet, "welcome home, little one," he chuckles.

I give Emmett a cautious look, reminding him how fragile Bella is. He could easily crush her in his enormous arms.

"I've missed you all so, so much," Bella whispers once she's been returned to her feet, I watch as her eyes scan the room like she was looking for a missing piece of a puzzle.

"Rosalie is busying herself in her and Emmett's wing," I explain and watch as Bella's face finally drifts around the living room and to all the separate stair cases leading off in many different directions.

"Her wing?" her eyes finally return to mine and I smile at her.

"Yes, this house had many wings, seven to be exact."

"More like a castle," she says walking over to the wall and touching the heavy stone. I watch her expression wondering what stone must feel like under her soft human fingertips.

"I suppose," I whisper in agreement.

"How do you all find each other?" Bella's question makes everyone in the room chuckle. Finding each other had never been difficult for us, I guess she might get lost.

_Perhaps it would be wise to install in intercom system, _I hear Carlisle think.

"That's a good idea," I nod to him and watch as Bella's gaze looks up to me then quickly away. I wonder what she is thinking, I see her cheeks turn that familiar colour of pale pink and now I _really_ wonder what she is thinking.

"Where is all my stuff?" she asks looking around the room and Alice grins.

"I'll take you to your wing," she giggles and pulls Bella away with her. I watch after her wishing that I could go along and witness Bella's reaction when she sees her wing but I don't follow.

"Edward, we have much to discuss," Carlisle said beckoning me towards his and Esme's wing and I know that we're headed to his office. The room has since cleared and I can hear everyone's whereabouts and I know that they can hear mine. Esme is in the kitchen preparing something for Bella to eat, Alice is dancing along Bella's wing giving her the full tour. Jasper is clearing snow off of his and Alice's balcony while Emmett sits perched on the rail delivering a slew of dirty jokes. I cannot hear Rose, however. I suspect she is out hunting now.

"I know," I whisper and have a seat across from Carlisle's desk; I can hear the disapproving nature in his thought.

"Edward, we all know why you left her to begin with. You can't just go back on your word whenever the mood hits—this isn't _just _your life, you have to take into account Bella's life—a human life nonetheless.

"She's lost everything, Carlisle," I whisper and stand, going over to the window, looking out to see if the sun has risen over the white mountains yet, "her mother, her father—her friends have all moved on without her."

"I know, son, Alice explained it all to me."

"Then you can understand that if I didn't think that this was the best thing for Bella then I would not be here right now with her safe, upstairs in our wing."

"_Her _wing, Edward," Carlisle looks up from the map he has on his desk, "Alice predicted that she'd want to be alone for a little bit. We've moved her to the upper north side—far removed from your lower east location. Not to worry, Alice and Emse have made sure that the wing is prepared for her stay. Heaters, hot water—what ever she needs, it is there."

I listen to his speech like it is a scolding, and in a way it is. I still have this foolish notion that I will turn around and my memory of Bella will be staring back at me with love and devotion in her eyes. It hasn't been that way.

"I understand," I nod, "if Bella wishes to leave I will not stand in her way," I assure him and walk to the door.

"Edward, I want you to know that we're all on your side," he tells me in a soft tone, I do no turn to look at him, "we want nothing more then for you to be happy. If it is you that Bella wants and chooses then we will not ignore that fact. However, I will not pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. Rosalie is very obviously distressed about Bella's return to our lives and we're all going to have to keep an eye on Jasper."

"My only concern is Bella," I say without turning.

"I can understand that, however my concern is my family and if this living situation does not iron it's self out I will not hesitate to remove us from it."

"Leaving me and Bella behind," I whisper, competing his train of thought before I nod. I cannot argue with that. We all have different priorities and it's quite obvious what those are.

Mine is Bella.

Alice's is Jasper and Jasper's is Alice.

Emmett's is Rosalie and Rosalie's is… Rosalie.

Carlisle and Esme have a commitment to each other but prioritize the family above all.

You never know—it may all just work out.


	9. Grand gestures

Bella's POV

**Bella's POV**

This place is bigger then I had imagined it would be, Alice is giving me the full tour as she dances along the halls. She shows me many rooms down this wing. Every time I expect to turn a corner and meet a dead end I see another long hallway continuing on with more doors. I stumble a little over my own feet, it's so dark.

"hm," Alice turns back at me then nods, "I'll get Carlisle to order some lights too," she sings and opens a big wooden door, "ta-dah!"

"Wow," I look in at the enormous room, the walls have a royal pattern of wall paper in a deep green, everything is decorated in dark wood and past the grand bed there are French doors leading out to a small balcony.

"I know, it's perfect," Alice giggled and started to open my bags and stuff all of my clothing into the drawers.

"It's too much, Alice. Isn't there a smaller room that I can—,"

"Nonsense, Bella, this will due perfectly for you. Not another word on the matter," she says and draws back the heavy drapes letting the wintery light fill the room. Her skin sparkles.

"I don't know what to say… What if I get lost?" I ask sheepishly and see Alice's face light up.

"Carlisle is on the phone right now with the intercom system people. But if you need anyone just shout," she grinned, "like this! JASPER!"

I smile covering my mouth because in an instant Jasper appears through the doors looking a little bit shocked. He stands there.

"What?" he asks looking between me and Alice.

"Never mind," Alice grinned sweetly pushing her spiky hair behind her two perfect little ears.

Jasper gives her a knowing grin and then gives me a nod before he leaves.

"See, always a shout away! Or a whisper, I suspect Edward will be listening for every move you make."

"Hm… I'll try not to let that keep my up at night," I mutter and have a seat on the bed, it's very comfortable.

"Oh Bella," Alice sighed and sits down next to me, "I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to Charlie."

"I know, I know. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised by his passing. The doctors did tell me that the brain damage was extensive," I feel tears start to swell in my eyes; "I always knew the possibility that there could be a hemorrhage among the dead tissue but I never thought that it would happen so quickly."

I feel Alice put an arm around me and I lean my head on her stone cold shoulder.

"You did a good thing, Bella. Taking care of him all alone for so long—Carlisle told me that many people much older then you often send them away. Out of sight out of mind, you know."

"I couldn't—it was all my fault to begin with I- I- wa-… I was the one who left—who was going to leave and he was looking for me. My mother too… Both Charlie and Renée are gone and it's because of me," I sob into Alice's shoulder and feel her shake her head.

"You have to know, Bella, that in this world every small decision changes every one's path in life. Nothing ever falls into place just right so there is no use in sitting here fretting about things that you never will have control over. It's a waste of time."

"Easy for you to say, you get to see your path and change it—," I breath in sharply.

"Some times it's more of a handicap than an advantage. I'm going to let you settle in," Alice smiled and perked up, "come in Esme!"

Esme enters with a dinner plate and sets it down on the small table near the big window, "you should eat while it's still warm—I figured you'd want to sleep a little bit more so I brought it to you, dear."

"Thank you, Esme, that's very thoughtful but I'm just not that hungry right now," I smile at her; I know what I must look like with my puffy, tear-stained eyes.

"Well I'll just leave it here incase you change your mind," she whispers and nods to Alice, "come, Alice, it's been a long trip for Bella."

Alice smiles and kisses my forehead before dancing out of the room behind Esme, leaving me to myself.

So, this is my new room. It's very big. I stand up from my spot on the bed and head over to see what Esme had brought for me. Pasta, it looks good but it'll probably taste just as good cold, so I leave it and walk over to the doors that are all around my room and decide, out of curiosity, to see what is on the other side. A closet, the hallway door, a bathroom, a small laundry room… another bathroom? I frown, it looks more like a locker room. There is a bench, a shower and a few cabinets, I wander inside to find another door and open it. To my surprise I am staring at a huge in-ground pool. The scent of chlorine fills my nostrils and I am reminded of home when I was a child, swimming lessons in school with my childhood friends. Before life complicated it's self into a chaotic little ball.

I walk over to the side and sit down. I pull up my pant legs and dip my feat into the warm water, I watch as ripples flow out into the center and then disappear. Light bounces off of every little wave and for a moment I am hypnotized by the glares of light. I sit there for a good long moment before I start to feel really sleepy and I head back into my room.

To my shock and amazement something is different in my room but at first I cannot tell what the thing is. Then my eyes lay on it. Where there used to be a large area of open space there is now a grand piano sitting there… I walk over to the instrument in awe. On the piano bench there is a red rose and a note written in Edward's angelic penmanship.

_Dear Bell,_

_If or when you choose to forgive me for being the utter fool that I am, I promise you an eternity of beautiful music._

_- Edward_

I feel a lump gather in my throat and anger. Such horrible anger, how do I forgive him without forgiving myself? I want to and that's why I hate this. I want to forgive him so bad and run to him and be with him but there is something in me that won't allow me to do that. Sense? Pride? Stubbornness?

I wish I knew!

I wander over to the window and look out to the snowy mountains, my gaze lowers to the ground, Edward is there looking up at my window. His eyes are instantly brightened when he sees me looking back at him. I pull away before I break and produce for him a smile. I run over to the bed and flop down on it feeling a hot flood of tears threatening to spill.

Everything rushes to the surface at once: Edward leaving, the accident, Renee's death, Charlie condition and then demise, the months of torture I inflicted on myself and using Mike's generosities to my full advantage without even dreaming of a possible consequence.

"God, grant me serenity. To accept the thing I cannot change. Courage to change the things which I can and wisdom to know the difference," I whisper into my pillow. Some how, sleep find me.


	10. Drowning sorrows

Hey everyone

_Hey everyone. Thanks for the awesome reviews. I love it that you all check back frequently for updates. I am so grateful that so many people have put this story on their fav & alert list. Thanks again._

**Bella's POV**

I stumble down the hallway of my wing searching for a stair case to take me down to the main floor. Just as I had predicted, I am lost. The fire in my room has been out for some time now and I can't find any wood to start it up again. It's dreadfully cold without the fire Ugh, this is perfect! I'm going to be stuck here forever, searching and searching! I see that Carlisle has wasted no time installing these lights. It's not quite finished yet. There are lamps hanging from the ceiling with wires sticking out of them, I spot a tool box and a big bottle of water. I suppose they had to call an electrician. Where could he be at?

I chuckle at an amusing though, perhaps he is lost too. I wander down the hall to see a ladder standing up next to an empty light socket. My stomach cramps up. Bad memories… I'm about to call out for '_anybody?'_ when I remember what Alice said about Edward listening for my every word or whisper. Perhaps I ought to be specific about who I wish to come to my rescue.

I clear my throat, "um… Alice?" I call out and feel a little stupid. Was that loud enough? Oh well, lets try it again then, "ALICE!?"

"She's not here," I turn around to see an annoyed face glaring back at me.

"Oh, good morning Rosalie," I feel my cheeks turn pink, "where is she?"

"Everyone left to go hunting, I went yesterday so I'm fine here," I can hear a resentment in her voice. Obviously she has been dubbed my baby sitter.

"Oh… do you know when they'll get back?" I ask.

"Hell if I know," she said inspecting her perfectly polished nail.

"Oh, well… um thanks then," I smile and turn to head to my room when a here someone curse and the lights all turn on for a moment, flicker then shut off.

"Son of a bitch—stupid old electrical piece of-," a mans voice grunts from an opens door down the hall. I turn back to give Rosalie a questioning look but she is gone now.

"Um… excuse me?" I fallow the cursing until I see an old man inside what appears to be an electrical room with wires coming out of each corner. Electrical boxes are open, switches are everywhere and fuses are laying all about.

"Yes miss, what is it?" he looks up from his clip board.

"Sorry, I just thought someone was hurt. Are you alright?" I look back at him to see his wrinkled old smile beaming at me.

"Sure am, little lady. Don't you worry about a thing. I'll have these lights up and running in no time at all!"

"Oh," I smile back at him, "be carful, this doesn't look like the safest place in the house."

"Will do, miss."

I give him a smile and then head back down the hall. Well, I guess there is no use in wandering around if no one is home. I go back into my room and start to make my bed. It's snowing out side, so I head over to the window to see if I can see any tracks from the Cullens. Of course, not one single footprint; that either means they left early this morning or they are so swift that they don't even make a dent in the snow. Go figure.

Well, no use in sitting around all bored. I might as well find something to do before I start to mope. I pace the room and rub my arms hopping to stir up some warmth in the freezing room, before going back to the window; I hope to see some vampires running back to the castle. Nope. There has got to be something to do. I look around before my eyes setting on the door to my own personal locker room. I guess I could go for a swim. I don't think I actually have a bathing suit, though.

I walk over to my dresser and start to rummage through it until I find a black tank top and a pair of blue cotton shorts. This will do. I head over to the small locker room and change, its cold so I grab a towel and hurry inside to the pool. I set the towel close to the ladder and sink into the warm water. It feels so good and warm. I let myself sink down to the bottom allowing the water to dance though my hair. When my lungs finally alert me it is time for more air, I kick off the bottom and head to the surface. I breath in deep, the smell of chlorine is so nice.

I swim over to the far end of the pool and look down to the other end preparing myself to do a full lap. I push off the wall and start to swim, feeling the water provide resistance against my muscles, it feels so good. The act of swimming becomes almost robotic and my body does it without thinking. My mind starts to slow to a halt and I just concentrate on the splashing of water and the feeling of my toes against the wall as I kick off and go for another lap. The echo in the room pulls me deeper into my meditation. The past few months start to slip away from existence and all that matters is the water.

_If or when you choose to forgive me for being the utter fool that I am, I promise you an eternity of beautiful music._

The words just pop into my head out of no where. I'm angry now! How dare those words rip through my peaceful meditation!

There is no use in fighting it any longer. Look at my actions for the past few days. I came to Alaska for heaven sakes. I swim to the edge and my brain starts to panic. Alright swim and think! I push off the wall again and start to pick up from where I left off. I guess if I'm not doing laps while I think it feels like I'm not going anywhere.

I came to Alaska with Edward. What do I really expect out of being here? I'm not finished school; there is no where around here I can possibly work. Carlisle is setting up an intercom and lighting for heaven sakes! This is starting to feel like this just might be permanent. It feels like a chapter from a fairytale; living in a castle, that is. Beauty and the Beast; except without the pretty girl being held captive by a monster. More like an average girl living with some semi-ghoulish roommates who are very attractive and much more patient with her then she deserves.

Lights turn out.

I lift my head up from the water when I feel the room become dark. What happened? I hope the electrician is alright. The lights flicker on again but then turn off. I hear a buzzing noise and I tred water in the centre of the pool. Where is the edge? Ugh. What is going on, what is that buzzing sound? I feel something push against my waist and it forces me to drift away from my spot. My hands feel out for the object that is pushing me, it has no end. It feels a lot like the tarp that I keep in the back of my truck to keep the rain off of my groceries… A tarp?

The pool cover! Oh no… I try to swim to the edge but its moving faster then before. The electrical short must have triggered it to cover the pool. It's too dark to see where I am. Where can I get out? It's moving even faster now and a wave knocks me back and before my hands can grip onto the tarp's edge, I am dragged under. I poke and push at the surface but I can't figure out which way is up and which way is down. A panic roars through me fallowed by a moment of calm which allows me to find the surface but the pool is fully covered. I push it up and breath in the little air that is there. Some water stings my throat and I cough.

"EDWARD!" I cry out for him, needing him more than ever, wanting him to save me.

He's not here.

No one will find me.

Edward…

_Another chapter done! So i had a lot of fun writing chapter 10 and am really exited about where chapter 11 will lead. Tell me what you think, i love feedback. Hate it? Love it? Tell me!_


	11. Safe again

Hey everyone, I am so glad that chapter 10 was so nicely received

_Hey everyone, I am so glad that chapter 10 was so well received. I adore your reviews! I want to give a shout out to Riley Grant who always provides a nice lengthy review. I enjoy reading your feedback, so keep it coming _

**Edward's POV**

I don't want to leave Bella too long by herself but everyone is taking forever to hunt this morning! I think that they're trying to wean me off of my small obsession. I have to admit that I have been listening a lot to every move that Bella has been making. Esme has scolded me several times for that. Apparently she thinks it's rude—if it wasn't for Alice I'd be watching my angel sleep every night but Alice has categorized me as a stalker and has been keeping me busy all night with card games and chess. A waste of time seeing that we're both so predictably predictable; Jasper doesn't seem too fond either of Alice spending all night trying to keep me busy.

I glace over at my family, excluding Rosalie of course, Japer is chasing Alice about with snow balls but she is far too fast and dodges them every time he chucks one. Emmett is off finding himself a snack while Carlisle and Esme sit on a tree branch holding hands. Ugh.

I can just imagine Carlisle and Esme as a young 1950's couple with two straws and one milkshake… Wait; change that—two straws and one animal carcass.

"We've all eaten can we go now?" I ask impatiently.

"Patience, my brother," Emmett laughs as he returns from his hunt. Jasper gets pounced on by Alice and falls onto the frozen ground with a thud.

"Gotcha!" Alice giggles and smiles down at her catch.

"Perfect, now lets get to work—we'll saw off his head and mount him in the dining room!" I pitch in and then roll my eyes when Jasper pulls Alice down into a kiss. Ugh, Alice better get off my case, at night, or else we're going to have one horny vampire on our hands.

Emmett clears his throat loudly when the make-out session does not die down. They don't seem to be paying attention. Emmett catches my eye and nods, _on the count of three we pelt them with snow balls!._

I grin and give him a nod, haha.

_One… two…_

"Three!" Alice jumps up and starts to chuck snow balls at me and Emmett. Damnit!

I laugh and jump into a near by tree with Emmett as the twosome below us throw globs of snow. Jasper is quick but not that quick!

"You'll never get me!" Alice taunted and jumped up onto a tree branch much high then the one Emmett and I are on. She stops, freezes, her eyes unfocus and then she drops from her branch falling to the frozen ground with a loud thud. The ground trembles and I hear somewhere off in the distance a small avalanche slide down a mountain side.

"Alice!" Jasper is by her side in an instant, "what did you see?"

"I… I don't know!"

I frown a little trying to tap into her thoughts. What is it?

_Darkness, something swooshing like water… Bella's voice 'EDWARD!'_

I feel something hot inside of me and a roar rips through chest. I'm run back towards the house, my feat stir up snow into a cloud. Small ice crystals form a haze. I get to the house and stop at the door listening for Bella. Where is she?

_Water, swoosh, and cough._

I snarl over at Rosalie who is sitting outside with a book, completely oblivious to Bella's distress. I scale the wall up to Bella's room where the sound gets louder, I gouge out bits of stone on my way up, parts of the wall crumble, and I don't care. I swing open the French doors and halt quietly for half a second and look around the room. The swooshing is louder. The pool? I burst through the locker room door and into the pool. The lights are out, my eyes quickly adjust to the darkness and I see the cover is drawn. How did this happen? Who did this?

A pang of fear forces a growl out of my chest and I throw myself into the centre of the pool, ripping through the cover with my razor claws and submerge myself in the water. I look through the water to find Bella struggling for the little bit of air left underneath the covering. I swim over to her and grab onto her waist forcing her down to the bottom on the pool with me. In one quick motion I can kick off the ground and tear through the cover carrying her back to her room, into the light.

Her heart is hammering in her chest but she's not breathing.

"Come on, Bella, breath for me, love," I whisper and pat her back gently, forcing her to cough up the water in her lungs.

"Edward," she shivers, at first I think that I'm too cold for her but then realize the fire has gone out in her room and a gust of icy air has blown in through the French doors. She's shaking violently now.

"It's okay; it's going to be okay. Come on," I pick her up and take her into the locker room, turning on the hot water and I settle down under the shower with her in my arms. My clothing is soaked. I don't care; I kiss her forehead over and over, running my hand along her cheek.

Her shivering continues but starts to fade enough for her water logged arms to slide around my neck. I pull her closer to me and burry my head into her shoulder. I hear her breath shudder and sobs break the silence, I can tell that she was really scared.

"It's alright," I tell her again, hoping she'll believe it, "it's alright, I'm here, you're fine," I promise her.

I sit with her in my arms under the hot shower until she stops shaking completely. I slide out from under her, grab a towel before I turn off the water.

"Come here," I whisper to her opening a towel for her, she moves into my arms, letting me wrap her up, "wait here I'll get you something dry to wear."

I go back into her room; it looks like Alice has restored the fire. On the foot of Bella's bed are four extra blankets. I rummage through Bella's dresser until I find her favorite pair of sweats and her old t-shirt that she loves to wear to bed.

Once I make sure that she has her cloths, I run to my room change out of my wet clothing then come back just in time to find her sitting down on the bed. She just looks at me.

"Bella, please say something," I'm worried; I just realized that she hasn't spoken a single sentence since I pulled her out of the pool.

"Uh… say what?"

"Maybe you can start with what happened?" I offer walking over to the bed slowly so I don't scare her with any sudden movements. I pull back the covers for her to get in.

"I don't know, everything was fine and then the lights flickered and—it all just happened so fast," her voice shudders a little. She gets under the covers; I unfold the four extra blankets and lay them over her so she doesn't get cold.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and run my hand over her cheek again. Her skin is warmer; at least she's not cold anymore.

"It's still early," Bella says looking out the window, a thick blanket of clouds has covered the sky and snow is coming down everywhere.

"You don't have to sleep," I smile at her and watch her cheeks turn pink, "… what?" I ask, running my finger over her blushing cheek.

"Nothing."

"No, tell me," I can't help but grin at her sheepish look.

"Will you play for me?" she asks and glances over at the piano.

I chuckle a little, "of course."

I walk over to the bench, sit down and start to play her lullaby for her and I don't stop. Over the course of time I switch in and out of different melodies but every now and then return to her lullaby I will play until she asks me to stop.

So I go on.

**Thanks for reading. I've got plans for the next few chapters. Please review. Love it? Hate it? Tell me!**


	12. Act of desperation

_Once more thank you all for your reviews I love to hear what you think and I really do consider your suggestions and try my hardest to put my own spin on them and work them into the plot._

**Bella's POV**

The sweet music fills the room completely and I watch him from where I'm tucked in, under a heap of blankets. The soothing music soon sings me to sleep and it is dark all around except for the melody of my lullaby softly whispering in the background.

I drift into a peaceful dream…

_I'm sitting in my father's living room. The colours of the room are vivid, everything is. The television turns on; I jerk my head over to see Charlie with the remote. He's in his police officer's uniform; he looks over at me and smiles. There is no vacancy in his expression and everything seems right again. I smile back at him staring at him for so long; he eventually looks to the ball game that is on TV. I keep watching him._

'_Bella, don't look too long or else you'll kill him too,' I hear a voice whisper and I look over to see Renee standing in the kitchen, covered in blood. I want to scream but nothing comes out. My mother's face is half caved in and she is tossing her car keys up in the air and catching them again._

_I watch horrified unable to look away. The atmosphere in the room has dramatically changed from warm and light to cold and dark._

'_Oh, Bella, too late," she says and points past me. I hesitate but turn my head over to the chair where Charlie is supposed to be sitting but he's not there anymore. I look closely. A pile of ashes._

_No! I try to scream out again but it feels like something is keeping my throat tight and constricted. It hurts. Drip, drip, drip. The noise starts off soft but soon becomes louder and louder. My eyes search the room for Renee but I can't find her. Then it gets louder. Drip, drop, drip. A slight stream of water is leaking from the corner of the room. Before I have time I react to that all the walls start to leak. Cold water pools at my feat._

_A wave explodes through the wall throwing me from my chair and then everything is dark. My lullaby still playing softly in the background. I can't see! I can't see! There is water all around me and I try to find that small pocket of air to breathe in but it's not there. I reach up for a pool cover to claw at but I can't even find that. There is nothing there and my throat is too constricted to scream for Edward. I try again. Nothing._

_Come on, Bella! You'll die if you don't._

"_Bella," the voice of a sweet angel answers my prayers. Edward's voice._

"_Bella?"_

_I smile, I'm saved. Arms are wrapped around me; I am floating to the surface. Lights return._

_THIS ISN'T WATER._

_I'm floating in a lake—no, an ocean of blood. I try to swim but I can't get anywhere because there are obstructions all around me. Arms and legs; floating in the carnage of body parts is Renee who's dead eyes snap up at me._

_My lullaby stops._

I'm suddenly awakened. The light in my room is dimmer than before. I open my mouth to cry out but all that come out is a muffled cough and the tightness in my throat produces a sharp pain. I cough again, shutting my eyes tightly until the pain subsides. Tears squeeze out. My eyes search the room for Edward; he is sitting on the bench his fingers frozen on the keys. Our eyes meet and he is by my side in an instant.

"What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" he asks running hishand over my cheek then frowns before moving his icy fingers onto my forehead. His entire hand rests on my temple.

I open my mouth to tell him about it but my voice is lost and I just cough again. I squeeze my eyes shut once more to relax the pain.

"Bella, you're sick," Edward whispers and flips his palm over touching his cold flesh to my forehead. It's a nice change in temperature. He leans down, pressing his wintery lips onto my forehead as if it's the last step in his diagnosis.

I look up at him, watching as he sits back up. I feel awful, my throat is tight and swore, my head feels like it's three times bigger then I know it is and I can't breathe through my nose.

"I'm going to get Carlisle," Edward says and moves to his feet, I reach up to grab his hand but my coordination is off and I only grab onto his shirt. He smiles down at me and pries my hand from his clothing, kissing my knuckles, "I'll only be a moment," he promises and takes off in a flash.

Stupid vampire speed, he was right though. In an instant Carlisle is here toeing the entire clan. Perfect, I'm a science project. I bet they're all going to take bets out on how high my temperature is.

Alice is sitting in the center of the bed with her legs crossed, watching intently. Edward is standing, impatiently as Carlisle puts a thermometer in my mouth. I hear Emmett mutter something about thermometers and baby's bottoms to Jasper who grins but his presence brings on a familiar calm so ignore Emmett.

Esme gives the boys a warning glare then walks over to Carlisle.

"Is there something I can do?" she asks.

"Something warm for her throat like tea or chicken soup will ease the pain." He says and Esme takes off in a flash

"Is it anything serious?" Edward asks running his fingers through his hair, anxiously.

"Nothing too serious," Carlisle replies after removing the thermometer and inspects it, "just a cold."

"Anything I can do?" Alice sits up on her knees like a puppy wanting a treat.

"Someone is going to have to drive to the next town—get some Tylenol cold and flu," Carlisle says to Alice.

I frown and start waving my arms and motion for a pen and pad so I can write a note.

Edward produces those very objects in three seconds. I scribble down a note.

_Tylenol? You're a __DOCTOR__ get me the good stuff._

I hand the note off to Edward who laughs and passes it to Carlisle.

"Bella, it all does the same thing," he says.

I let out a stubborn huff and cross my arms. Alice smirks and takes off, Jasper fallows.

Carlisle sets a cloth and a small bowl of water near my bedside and leaves Edward and me alone. Emmett smirks a little from the corner of the room, probably another dirty joke. Edward growls once and the strong vampire takes off.

"Sorry about the audience," Edward apologizes and sits on the edge of the bed, "the human condition is something of interest to them," he rinses the cloth in the cool water and places it on my forehead. It feels so nice

He sits there for a long moment watching me.

"I know you can't really speak. I hope you don't mind but I'm going to take advantage of that—because I need you to listen to me," he says and waits for my nod before he continues.

"You don't have to stay here. You can leave; I didn't bring you here to keep you my prisoner. But you have to know this, where ever you go… I will fallow," I watch his sincere eyes dig deep into my soul, "if you want me to beg, I'll get… I'll get down on my knees and I will beg for you."

His words touch me so deeply, I watch him move down to his knees. I want to tell him to stop, not to beg because I can't be sure that if he begs that I won't give in. I can't speak, I hold up my hand for him to stop but it's too late, he's on his knees, looking up at me with eyes so full of desperation that it makes me feel light.

"Please, Bella."

**Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! I really do love the feedback. I've got plenty of ideas for this story so expect more to come shortly. I'm also starting a new fic Called. **_**Wide Open Spaces **_**(contains ****spoilers**_**) **_**It is a Twilight fic so check it out on my profile. As always tell me what you think! Love it? Hate it? Tell me!**


	13. Affection interuped

_Thanks for all the nice reviews. Please keep them coming! _

**Edward's POV**

I'm looking up at Bella from down on my knees; her eyes are soft and sympathetic. Her hand is reaching up for me to stop but I won't stop. I will spend the rest of my existence on my knees if that is what it takes.

"Please, Bella," I take her hand that is now forcefully telling me to stop. I place it on the side of my face and kiss her palm. Her entire arm relaxes and gives up the struggle for control. She shifts her palm to the other side of my face and I give her thumb a tender kiss when it brushes over my lips.

"Please, Bella," I whisper again, quieter than before but I know she can hear me. Her hand moves over my head, her fingers entwine with my hair and I look up to her when I feel her weakly try to draw me towards her. I give in easily to whatever she wants, I move off my knees and lean over her body, an arm resting on each side of her fragile form. Her eyes are gazing into mine, her lids flutter shut and she tilts her chin up. I watch as her lips part so slightly. I lean down; closing my eyes, preparing to feel her tender lips on mine for the first time in so long.

"Excuse me," Esme clears her throat. Bella's eyes snap open and she turns her head to the visitor.

I feel my jaw clench and I stand up straight. God, damn it!

"Esme," I grumble a halfhearted greeting.

"I brought Bella some warm soup," she says giving me a warning glance, then her eyes return to Bella, "it would probably be best if you sat up, dear. We don't want you to choke."

I sigh and wrap my arms around Bella's waist and help her sit up, making sure that she has a pillow behind her back so that she won't be uncomfortable. Esme sets the tray over Bella's lap and smiles down at Bella, giving her a kiss of her forehead. Esme probably loves this, taking care of a sick child like some motherly fantasy.

_Thank you, _Bella mouths, her voice still hasn't returned.

"You're welcome. I called Alice and Japer, they should be back shortly," Esme said and gave me another warning glance.

_Edward, let her recover._

"I'll make sure she does," I say low enough that only Esme could hear.

I drift back over to the piano and softly play, letting Bella eat. It takes her a while to get through the entire bowl but I guess she's hungry because she eats every drop. When I hear her put the spoon down I go back to her bedside, setting the tray down and smile down at her. She blushes a little then grins because she knows she's safe. I can't ask her what she is thinking if she can't talk.

I lightly chuckle, and lean over her again, picking up where we left off. I lean down just inches away from kissing her lips.

"We're back!" Alice dances in the room.

I sigh deeply and stand up straight again. Son of a…

Jasper chuckles from the doorway, lapping up my frustrated energy, then retreats back to his and Alice's wing. Alice takes a seat in the centre of the bed and plops down a big bag in Bella's lap.

"Tah-da!" Alice giggles.

I raise my brow, "looks like a pretty big bag for just some Tylenol," I cross my arms and watch as Bella opens the bag then starts to dig through the objects pulling out tissues, vics vaporub, herbal tea and the Tylenol.

"The lady in the store said that this stuff should make her feel better," Alice in a high ringing tone.

"Wow, Alice, I'm impressed," I say in astonishment, I had half expected Bella reach into the bag and pull out a new pair of leather boots.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Bella's voice croaks a little as she tried to speak. She pours the remainders of the bag onto the bed. Lipsticks, eye shadows, mascara.

"What?" Alice's voice rang when I gave her a glare, "just because she's sick doesn't mean she can't look pretty at the same time."

"Alice, you can leave now," I grumble and sweep the makeup off the bed and deposit in the drawer in the bedside counter.

"Thank you, Ali-," Bella's croaky voice breaks off mid sentence.

"Shhhh, don't speak. Save your energy," I tell her softly and start to read the instructions off the Tylenol package. I open the bottle and hand her two tablets and give her the water that Esme had left with the soup. "You need to take these every eight hours, I guess."

Bella nods and closes her eyes tightly when she swallows down the pills; her throat must still be store. She coughs and I wince at the liquid sound that vibrates through her lungs. I pick up the vaporub and read the jar.

"You should probably put some of this on," I open the jar and wrinkle my nose; it's not the most pleasant smelling remedy. I'm surprised when I look down and see Bella covering her throat with her hands and shaking her head, no.

"No," she croaks out and then coughs again, more violently then before.

"Come on, Bella, it'll make you feel better," I whisper and gather the pungent smelling substance on my fingers and wait for her to remove her hands front her throat. I give her a stern gaze and she finally complies.

I gently spread the substance from her chest up her throat, in slow circles. I'm startled when her back arches and her body jolts about like she is being electrocuted. My hands freeze in their position and my eyes lock on her face and I realize that she is laughing. Her voice has left her again so it is a breathy laugh. It makes me smile and I continue what I am doing as Bella tries to reframe from rolling around.

"I didn't know you were ticklish," I chuckle at her wide grin; her teeth are clamped tight as she tries to hold herself together. I finish quickly because I'm not completely sure that laughing doesn't hurt her right now. If it weren't for the fear of putting her in any more pain I'm pretty sure I'd be content to tickle her all day. I wipe the vaporub off of my hands with some of the tissues Alice brought.

"Thank you," her voice is still rough, her grin is the biggest I've ever seen it.

"Always," I lean over her body once more leaning down to capture that kiss that was stolen away from us too many times in one day.

"Edward," a small voice in the hallway beckons me and I feel my teeth grind together. I look over to see Alice standing there sheepishly. I look back down at Bella who appears to be equally annoyed. I rinse out the cool cloth near her bedside in the bowl of water and place it on her forehead and walk over to Alice.

I'm halfway there when it all becomes clear to me. Alice's vision.

I look back to see Bella's eyes on me, confused.

**So let me know how it's going so far. Love it? Hate it? Tell me! Review please!**


	14. Reflection

_Thanks for the awesome reviews guys! I love each and every one of you! _

**Bella's POV**

"Bella hurry up!" Edward calls for me from outside, in the hallway. He had told me to hurry and get dressed; it's an emergency. I really am trying to go as quickly as I can but I'm still not fully recovered and everything I seem to do is in slow motion.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" my voice sounds like a raspy whisper but the stuff Edward rubbed on my chest really did help, even if it was torture. I slip a big hoodie over my ragged t-shirt and change my favorite sweats for a pair of jeans. I really wish he'd just tell me what's going on. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, ugh, look at my hair!

"Bella, we don't have time!"

I turn my head towards the closed door and roll my eyes before I look back to the mirror, so I can straighten up the fuzz ball on my head. I jump at the sight in the mirror; behind my shoulder is Renee—all blood and tossing her car keys into the air. My breath is stuck in my throat. She can't be here, she's dead. Oh god. I feel tears burn my eyes. She's shaking her head, disapprovingly, her face is half caved in like in my dream. She opens her mouth to say something to me and a stream of insects and soil fall out. I gasp and quickly snap around to look over my shoulder but my room is empty. No one is there.

Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. I'm going crazy. I turn back to the mirror slowly; just my reflection is staring back at me.

"Bella?" I hear Edward's voice call for me, impatiently.

My stomach sinks and I run to the door, throwing it open and wrap my arms around him tight.

"Bella, you're shaking—what's wrong?" he asks, sounding worried. How can I explain to him what I saw? He'll think I've lost it! I know it wasn't real. It wasn't real.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I just don't feel well," I lie and lean against him, very thankful that he cannot read my thoughts. He holds me there against him for a moment then he wraps my coat around my shoulders, lifts me up into my arms and carries me down the hall at a human pace—probably so I don't become sick. I glance over at the Cullen's forming a line from the bottom of the stair case to the first hallway of the wing. They are passing many buckets of water up the steps and Jasper is setting them down on the floor, leading far up the hallway.

"What's going on?" I ask Edward in a gruff whisper once we've passed by the line up.

"Alice saw a fire in her vision—we suspect some wiring problems because it was in your wing and only you who was…" he trails off.

"Did I die?" I ask quietly, he carries me to the bottom of the steps.

"Of course not," he says in a hard tone and then sets me down on my feet when we get to the main entrance of the castle. Edward likes to call this place a house but I suppose that it would be considered that to anyone who can travel the entire place at the speed of light.

"Then why are we leaving?" I ask and watch his face as he readjusts my coat, helping my slide my arms through the sleeves.

"We're _not_ leaving. We're just keeping you out of harms way," he looks down at me, buttoning up my coat and pulls the hood up over my head, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you… Can you walk?"

"I've got a cold—not the plague," I protest grumpily.

Edward wraps his arm around my shoulders and guides me outside to his car which is parked far down the driveway. He opens the door for me and I get in the back seat, the car is beating hot. He closes the door and turns back to the house, I open the door a crack.

"Where are you going?" I ask frantically, I don't want him inside a burning castle!

"I'll be back in a minute, I'm going to get you a blanket," he says and disappears before I can object. A blanket? It's so hot in here. Maybe the fire in Alice's vision wasn't faulty wiring—maybe I spontaneously combust! If not from this heat then from Edward always being less then an inch away from kissing me and then—blam! Interruptions...

I feel a bead of sweat roll down my back; I undo my coat and slide it off, it's still too hot. What is taking him so long anyways? He said he was going to get me a blanket.

This heat is too high! I lean forward across to the front seat and slide the heat down to low. My breath is caught in my throat and I almost choke on the air as my eyes lock on the rearview mirror. Fire explodes from my bedroom window. Edward! I turn around abruptly and get out of the car, falling down into the freezing snow.

No smoke? No fire? I look up at the castle from the icy ground. The window that I had just seen get blown out is perfectly fine. I don't understand! I saw it; what's wrong with me?

I'm shaking violently now and I don't know if it's from the snow biting at my bare fingers or just being plain terrified. I drag myself up off the ground and get back into the car. I don't dare look back into the mirror. I don't know what I'll see.

The curiosity is starting to eat away at me. I need to look in the mirror again. I have to prove that there is nothing there and that this is all just in my mind. I open my eyes and look, my reflection stares back at me. See, there is nothing there, nothing out of place. I learn forward, looking in the reflection, my eyes drifting up to the window of my bedroom, intact. I start to lean back and calm my nerves when staring back at me again is Renee.

"Why are you doing this?" I cry into the reflection and feel a freezing hand grab my arm. I scream.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edwards gaze is on me, his eyes look terrified as he stares into me.

"It's… nothing I- uh just didn't expect…"

"What's wrong?" his voice is barely above a whisper and he pulls me into his lap.

"You just surprised me that's all," my voice doesn't even sound convincing to me.

"Bella, I told you I'd be right back," he doesn't look convinced either, "what's going on with you?"

"I didn't thing you were… I didn't think it was you."

"What? Who did you think I was going to be? What's the matter?"

"I thought… I thought you were my mother," I hear my voice break and I bring my hand up to my mouth.

He looks at me confused; he must think I've really lost it.

"I've been having these dreams about her, Edward, I've been seeing her… I just saw her a minute ago."

"Bella, wait, what do you mean-"

"In the mirror!" I cry out franticly, "I saw her in the mirror!"

"Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me this was going on?"

"It's like she's angry with me, she knows that everything is my fault," hot tears spring from my eyes.

"It's going to be fine, Bella, I'm going to get Carlisle and we're going to figure this all out," he says holding my face in his hands and wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

"Don't go! Please don't leave—I'm so scared," his arms wrap around me tightly, I can't stop shaking.

"I won't go," he promises, "we're going to figure this out."

**Thanks for all the support guys! Remember to review. Love it? Hate it? Tell me!**

**(((Also remember to check out my latest fic **_**Wide open spaces**__**. **_**It does contain spoilers from BD so you've been warned! You can find it on my profile!)))**


	15. Calming the storm

_Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for the positive feedback and giving me all the incentive to carry on to new chapters. I love you guys so keep reviewing )_

**Edward's POV**

The fire that Alice had seen was no more then a spark which caught on a curtain. Fortunately Jasper and Emmett were able to douse the flame before it exploded into the chaos that Alice's vision entailed. However, that is now the least of my worries. Right now I am one hundred percent focused on Bella's mental health. She told me that she has been having night mirrors and has even been seeing things that she can't explain. I am really worried.

I'm waiting with Alice outside of Carlisle's special medical room. He had arranged this room a number of years ago when we found two hikers nearly frozen to death. It was all he could do to keep them alive. Since then some other people have been known to get lost up around these parts. It only makes sense—well, to Carlisle anyways. If someone is that stupid to wander off in Alaska, mid-winter, then I say that their passing is but an evolutionary step to rid the human race of such stupidity.

I didn't want to be left out of this but Carlisle suggested that maybe Bella wouldn't be as comfortable telling him what she's been experiencing with me around. I can hear everything, anyhow, but I guess it's just for her piece of mind.

So far, of what I've heard, the CAT scan has come up clean, so there isn't anything neurologically incorrect. Now Carlisle is just asking her the general _shrink_ questions. I feel a little bit angry with him because a few times he's said some things that have brought her to tears and all I want to do is go in and hold her but then Carlisle will reach out to me with his thoughts.

_Edward, let her get it all out. Don't interfere; I know that I'm doing._

I listen intently as the entire session, at some point I couldn't take it anymore and I had to sit down on the floor and rest my head in my hands. Alice has left me to have this moment on my own and took off to play with Jasper.

_Edward, it is find if you want to come in, now, _Carlisle reaches out to me with his thoughts and I get up to my feet.

Bella is sitting on the end of a long sofa, she refused to lie down. I walk towards her and sit down next to her, wrapping my arms around her, I kiss her head softly.

"There's nothing wrong with her, Edward," Carlisle says reassuringly.

"She's seeing things, Carlisle!" I give him a scowl.

"It's nothing but a manifestation of her own guilt. Bella's subconscious mind is channeling all of her guilt over the death of her parents into an entity in order to punish herself," Carlisle says softly.

I wrap my arms around her tighter, "what happened was _not_ her fault."

"That's what everyone keeps telling her and I'm afraid that it's only making it worse for her," Carlisle takes a deep breath.

Bella closes her eyes and rests against me. I bet all of this psychology sounds ridiculous to her right now. I saw her face, how scared she was. Whatever she is seeing is very real to her. I wish I could look into her thoughts so I can understand. I stroke her hair softly and look back up to Carlisle.

"Well what am I supposed to do? Blame her? Tell her that is _was _her fault?" I feel helpless.

"No, of course not. But denying the feelings of her responsibility in the matter is not useful either. I think that it will be more healthy for her if we all… _yes that's a group effort-_," Carlisle said for the house to hear, "-if we can acknowledge that she's probably going to hold herself responsible for this tragedy for the rest of her life."

"That's ridiculous," I grumble under my breath, too low for Bella to hear.

"As ridiculous as you blaming yourself for was happened with James?" Carlisle disputed. I feel a low growl escape my chest.

"Fine, fine, fine… is there anything I can do?" I ask, god I feel helpless.

"Healthy activity, keeping her mind off of things, will help. Since she still hasn't fully recovered from her cold you may want to keep those activities in doors."

"Awwww," I hear Alice's disapproval and then thumping of feet, she wanted to play in the snow.

"She's been through a lot. Don't you think she should sleep?" I ask and feel Bella's body go rigid.

"No, I don't want to sleep," she said holding onto my arm tightly; I stroke her hair again, softly.

"Alright… did you want to go swimming?" I ask and watch as her eyes look up at me like I was crazy.

"That's actually a really good idea," Carlisle says standing up and putting his notes in his desk.

"I almost drowned in there!" Bella's voice is frantic.

"Yes and it'll help you get over it—besides, Edward will be with you. He won't let you drown," Carlisle adds.

I hear Bella groan and she leans her warm forehead against my chest.

I take Bella back to her room so she can change into something else. She's been trying to talk me out of swimming for almost 15 minutes straight. She's sitting at the edge of the pool with the biggest, cutest pout I have ever seen.

"You're missing out Bella," I tease her from the deep end. I'm not going to force her in; I want her to make that call on her own. Even if all she does is just sit there and pout, I'm not going to _force_ her.

"Have you forgotten that _I _have a cold? Do you want me to get worse?" Bella asks trying to lay a guilt trip down on me. I disappear under the water, swimming over to where she was pouting then reemerged with a grin.

"Well, I hear that swimming is great for colds. Chlorine is a bacteria killer," I watch as she looks back at me, unconvinced. "Come on, Bella, you're ruining my fun," I decide to go for the guilt angle too, I gently take her foot in my hand and run my palm slowly up her leg leaving a watery trail.

Bella gives me a wary look.

"Please Bella?" I look up at her and watch her sigh. She shifts, moving her hands onto my shoulders and she allows me to wrap my hands around her waist and lower her into the warm water.

"Are you happy now?" she asks stubbornly, her grip seems locked onto my shoulders so I slip my arms around her protectively.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," I promise and lean her against the wall of the pool. She closes her eyes for a brief second and I take that opportunity to lean into her and kiss those soft lips which I've been longing to kiss for so long.

And she doesn't pull away…

**Finished another chapter. Let me know what you think! Love it? Hate it? Tell me!**


	16. Lights out

_You all are great! Please keep reviewing. I love to hear from you guys!_

**Bella's POV**

I'm settled against the wall of the pool where Edward has me captured. His arms are holding me close to him in a protective grip. I feel safe with him there. He leans in and kissed me a second time and I feel a jolt of electricity flow hot through my chest and into the very pit of my stomach. I smile against his lips, I can't stop smiling. My hands slowly loosen their grip on his shoulders and I wrap my arms around his neck, pushing myself further into his embrace.

A slight cloud of fog lifts off of the water around us. I suspect that it is due to Edward's difference in temperature compared to the water around us. However, to me, the warmth of the water vs. the coolness of his skin is strangely intriguing and it makes me want to be closer to him.

He moves a hand up into my hair and I shiver a little at the sensation on the back of my neck. His lips softly part from my own and I am left wanting more. He smiles at my expression and moves his hand from my hair onto my cheek.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks me.

I nod finding it difficult to speak, I feel less stuffy and my throat is a lot better then yesterday. I'm slowly moving my lips closer to his' getting ready to kiss him when I hear a loud 'ping!' noise. My eyes fly open in time to see Alice giggling from the pool side in a black one-piece swimsuit. A large colorful beach ball is drifting off into the center of the pool. I look up at Edward who is fixing his hair.

"Haha, I got you Edward Cullen!" Alice giggles loudly and Edward grins at me, "Should we _get_ her?"

"I think we should _get_ her," I laugh lightly watching Alice smugly walk along the edge of the pool, "ha! As if you could," she smirks.

"Cocky little monster isn't she?" Edward smiles and pressed his lips against my temple, "but she is right—she would probably see it coming. That's why if we do _get_ her it has to be spur-of-the-moment."

I grip onto Edward tightly when the water explodes in the center of the pool and Alice is no longer standing at the edge.

"Is that spur-of-the-moment enough?" Jasper smirks; standing at the edge of the pool fully clothed with a smile, waving at Alice.

I look over for Alice's reaction but she is no longer in the center of the pool. I wrap my arms tighter around Edward than before. He chuckles at that and holds me more protectively against the wall. I feel like there is a serpent in the water getting ready to strike.

"Ha!" Alice is suddenly at the edge of the pool, pouncing Jasper and they both tumble into the water in the loud splash. I duck a little and laugh as my hair is drenched by the enormous splash. A wave from the implosion threatens to toss me about but Edward's shielding grip keeps me perfect still.

"What happened?" Esme is at the poolside in an instant with a look of worry in her eyes, "I heard…"

"It's just Jasper and Alice playing, don't worry, Esme," Edward replies calmly.

"Be carful, Bella can't play as roughly as you two," Esme says in a motherly voice to Jasper and Alice who just nod idly and go back to splashing each other.

Esme's concerned glance focuses down on Edward and he nods, "don't worry, Esme. I'm keeping Bella far away from their ruckus," he replies to whatever Esme's thought was. I wish that they'd all stop treating me like a china doll.

Esme moves past Emmett as she is about to exit, "what happened?" he asks and looks to Esme and she just points to the twosome splashing around before exiting.

Edward laughs lightly when Alice gathers a mouth full of water and sprays it in Jasper's face.

"You know, Emmett, you don't need to seclude yourself from the fun just because Rosalie is being a sourpuss," Jasper says and wipes his hand across his face, looking around for Alice who has vanished under the water again.

"Yes he does," Edward says quietly and makes whipping noise with his mouth.

I feel my mouth drop and grin at the same time. That is so bad! I bring my hand up to my mouth to hide my expression and I have to take a peek at Emmett's face. He has a furious look of competitiveness in his appearance.

"Bella, would you please mind sitting over here while I teach your boyfriend what it truly is to be whipped?" Emmett said between his teeth.

"Maybe later, we're busy," Edward said kissing me again, but this time moving his self against the wall and using _me_ as the shield!

I laugh against his lips and some how manage to pull away, "I think I need a break from the water. You can play with Emmett now!"

Emmett's booming laugh filled the pool area and Edward stared at me with an expression of fake shock then he smiles and lifts me up from the pool. Emmett takes my hands, pulling me up the rest of the way and I wander over to the bench grabbing a towel. I chuckle a little when Emmett strips down to his boxers and challenges Edward to a race.

I slip into the locker room for a moment. I grab my robe and stop to look in the mirror. Nothing is there but my reflection. I guess it really was just all in my head. I pull my arms through the robe and tie it at my waist I'm startled when I hear the door slam shut. What was that?!

"Hello?" I whisper and wander around the locker room and try to open the door leading back into the pool but it is locked. I jiggle the knob with no luck then hear the door leading to my bedroom slam shut and I run over to it but don't make it that far when the lights turn out.

I feel a chill run up my spine.

"Hello?" I reach out and feel a swift breeze brush past me. Tears start to sting my eyes. Why is this happening? Is this really happening or is it all in my mind? I lower down onto the floor because my knees are shaking so much that I'm not sure they'll be able to support my weight for much longer.

"Is anyone there?" my voice is hardly a whisper; it feels like my words are stuck in my throat and they just wont come out.

"Bella?" I hear Edward's voice and look up to the door and hear a clicking snap as he forces it open and turns on the light.

"Why are you in here with the doors locked and the lights out?" he looks at me on the floor then is by my side in a moment.

"I didn't do it, Edward, I swear… I'm not crazy, it has to be my mother. She's haunting me—it's like she's inside of my mind," my voice quivers.

"No Bella, your mother loves you; she'd never do anything like this." He whispers and kissed my head, gathering me into his arms.

"You don't think that I did it then?" I ask him, his expression is blank, "Edward!"

"Bella, we're going to find out what's going on."

"Edward, I don't even _know how _to lock the doors!" I cry out and his face hardens. He lowers me onto my feet and takes my hand in his.

"Everyone; living room, NOW!" he hollers so loud that the castle shakes.

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	17. Final choice

_Sorry for the short delay I've been really busy at work lately and preparing to go back to school. I've only really found time to update my other fic, "Wide open spaces", because of the huge demand. I'm going to try really hard to get back into the swing of things and updating both daily. Please keep reviewing with your thoughts. It helps me stay on track!  
_

_  
_**Edward's POV**

I pace the living room, walking back and forth. My eyes every now and then look down to Bella who appears so tiny, curled up in the arm chair, within her robe. I see her tuck her fists into the garment so I cover her with a blanket that was resting over the back of the adjacent couch.

Esme and Carlisle are standing near the window having a conversation about politics. It's uninteresting because they often agree too much to make the debate get heated. Jasper and Alice are taking their sweet time getting down to the family meeting, I just called. I supposed the watery fun was too much for the two who were extremely overdue on alone time. Thankfully my concern with Bella's health makes it easy to divert my attention from the sounds of furniture squeaking and the two moaning.

Emmett finally comes down the staircase and gives me a shrug, "I can't find her anywhere; I suppose she went hunting."

"Well, well, big surprise there," I grumble and glare at Emmett's angry expression.

"What are you accusing my wife of?" Emmett looks furious.

"Don't you think it's just a little coincidental that I call a family meeting to discuss the possibility that someone in this house may be playing games with Bella's mind and the only person we cannot find happens to be the same person who holds contempt for Bella?" I cross my arms.

"Jasper and Alice aren't here too, you know," Emmett defends Rosalie.

"They're here," I mutter and cross my arms staying silent. Emmett tilts his head, listening for a short moment then laughs.

"What's funny?" Bella finally speaks after being deep in thought for a long while.

"Jasper and Alice are having a … conversation," Emmett smirks, "a _deep_ conversation."

I shake my head and watch as Bella's cheeks turn my favorite shade of pale pink.

"That's enough, Emmett, I think I have all the answers I need to determine what is going on by the attendance," I reach my hand out for Bella and she takes it pulling herself up off the couch.

"Why would Rosalie do such a thing?" Bella asks and I hear Emmett growl.

"If you accuse my wife of playing head games with Bella then you don't know anything about her. Regardless if you can see inside of her mind," Emmett scowls at me and I only roll my eyes.

"Don't you think for one moment that I am just going to let this slide; the next time I see that blonde mop I am going to teach her a lesson on playing fair," a growl rips through me and Carlisle is between Emmett and I in a moment before either of us can react.

"Edward, there is a system. It is called innocent before proven guilty. I'd like to presume that Rose had nothing to do with what happened before we condemn her," Carlisle says calmly.

I wrap my arms around Bella and draw her into my chest, protectively, "fine, have it your way. From now on I don't want Bella alone in this house, she is moving out of that wing," I say and shoot Esme a glare at her disapproving thoughts.

"Oh! Excellent idea," Alice bounces down the stairs and giggles. I raise my brow at Jasper who just smirks to himself, satisfied.

"What idea?" Bella asks.

"You can move into me and Jasper's wing!" she giggles, "It'll be so much fun!" Alice hops up and down in one spot. Jasper's smirk melts away.

"I'd prefer it if she'd stay with me," I grumble to Alice, too low for Bella to hear. I don't want her out of my sight and the fact that Jasper will be so close does not bring me much comfort. He's snapped before, there is nothing stopping him from doing it again.

"No she can stay with me! Don't worry about Jasper; you boys can have a wing to yourself and all the girls will have a wing. It'll be like a slumber party!" Alice giggles.

I feel Bella's arms wrap around me tightly, "save me," she says hiding her face in my chest.

"Bell doesn't want to, Alice. Stop pushing her, it's always games with you," he growls strictly.

Alice pouts and crosses her arms; Jasper is by her side in a moment and wraps an arm securely around the little vampire, "What's wrong with you, man?" Jasper gives me a cold stare.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I'm just stressed out because Bella is so fragile right now-,"

"Oh cut it out!" Bella yells, her voice is still gruff. "I am so sick of everyone treating me like I am breakable! I'm not! I should just let you guys change me and get it over with!"

My eyes look down her rosy face, is that what she really wants? It is why I went back to Forks. It was to change her so I could keep her forever. So we could have each other forever.

"Is that what you want, Bella?" I ask her softly. Everyone stays quiet. No one's thoughts produce any inkling of disapproval, not even Esme's. In fact, Esme's thoughts are somewhat sympathetic toward _me_ now. Her thoughts read like a picture book, all of us living under one roof, everyone equal and no one being carful not to break the human. There is less edge in the environment of her prediction for the future.

"I don't know. It just seems like it makes sense. You're all my family," she whispers softly. "I don't feel like I can possibly be here much longer if I'm not on equal playing ground."

Equal. I am taken back by the use of that word. It is almost exactly the same way that Esme's thoughts put it. I look down to Bella, my love, she is not the same girl who I left in Forks almost two years ago. She has changed, I don't know if it was because I had left her alone of if it was because she spent so much time putting her own interests aside to take care of her deteriorating father but there was something different. She spoke wiser and her eyes were softer.

"Are you sure Bella?" I ask her softly again.

"Yes, what else do I have left to do in this life?"

"Bella if we do this—there is no going back."

"I know."

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